Thoughts on self-care and my routine


The term ‘self-care’ means different things to different people. In a society that’s constantly sending out the message that we aren’t good enough, thin enough, pretty enough or funny enough, you would be forgiven for having a few insecurities – if you’re lucky. In many ways, businesses are formed around people’s insecurities and promises towards improving your life if you buy a certain product or plan from them. You only have to look at the rise of all the fitness and nutrition ‘experts’ to see this. There are small things like being led to believe that being tanned makes you more attractive – I’ve actually ditched the fake tan for over a month now – or having to eat quinoa with every meal makes you healthier. Seemingly small, these beliefs can add up and have a detrimental effect on our self-esteem.

I think we should be a lot more wary about the type of content we’re consuming and who we’re listening to on a daily basis to form the majority of our beliefs about the world. In ten years time do  you really want to say that you’ve learnt most things about our culture through the filtered world of Instagram? It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and I’ve become much more vigilant with the type of content I’m consuming. Who knows, maybe I’m just not mentally strong enough to deal with the bombardment of messages on social media every day, or maybe I’m just more aware than most people of how certain types of media can have a negative effect on my mood.

I’ve possibly become a worse friend as a result of this because I’m not constantly on my phone replying to messages as soon as I get them. Or liking a photo as soon as it’s gone up. Or leaving a comment on my favourite people’s Instagram accounts everyday. It’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I’m prioritising my state of mind over doing the things I feel like I ‘should’ be doing. And you know what? I feel so much better for it.

If you’ve been watching my vlogs,  you’ll have seen that sadly my Nana passed away a couple of months ago. She was one of the people I looked up to the most, almost like a second mum. I could tell her anything and I still don’t  think I’ve come to terms with her not being around to talk to anymore. What I want to mention here though, is that a couple of week’s before that happened, I was doing a mini ‘social media detox’ while I was off work.

On one of those days I went round to her house and we had the best afternoon, eating left over homemade Christmas cake and wine. We chatted and laughed and I can say for once I was fully in the present moment. I wasn’t checking my emails or Instagram, I was just there. Even on the day I remember thinking how nice it was and that I should leave my phone at home more often. Looking back obviously it was one of the last times we spent together and I’ll be forever grateful that I gave her my full attention that day.

Having said that, even if I hadn’t decided to leave my phone at home that day, I wouldn’t be beating myself up about it now. These things happen and the worst thing you can do is to not have compassion for yourself when you’re already hurting. I think I and you (yes you!) need to be kinder to ourselves. Share the good and bad moments on social media but not in a patronising ‘oh look, I’m just like you guys’ way. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea/coffee and that’s ok. Stop the Twitter dramas and comments for comments on Instagram. Just be authentic, just be true to yourself, just be you. I really believe that your true friends (or audience if we’re talking from a business perspective) will be there no matter what. You can watch my video below to see what self-care looks like for me.

"I never want to paint this picture of a perfect life" - @ella_ryder

"I'm working on treating myself nicely and not putting myself down" - @ella_ryder

"It's ok to feel down but you want to make sure the positive days outweigh the negative days" - @ella_ryder


*A few of the practices I use when I really want to look after myself

*That I can’t apply two face masks very well..

* The beauty products I take to the spa with me

*A one size swimsuit that’s very flattering

*My thoughts on social media comparison

*How I’m working on my confidence and self-esteem



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