ARE YOU INDECISIVE?
Recently I've been finding it very difficult to make decisions about things. It can be anything from attending a social event, how many times to publish blog posts on here or something more trivial like which moisturiser to use. I can get myself quite worked up about the smallest things, overthinking it all. In the past I've always been quite decisive and confident in my decisions. When I make a decision or set my mind on something, I want instant results.
However it's the bit that comes before that I've been pondering recently. When it comes down to it all, is there really any such thing as a 'right' decision? Maybe not. I believe there are other alternative, parallel realities (bear with me here) where we've made different choices. Did you know it's been scientifically proven that alternate universes exist? So, with this in mind, I've found a few things that have given me some reassurance when feeling indecisive and hopefully they'll help you too.
5 ways to tell if you're making the right decision
1.If it feels good do it! Whenever you decide to do something, ultimately it should make you feel good and not just because you've 'decided' to do it. However not all situations are so easy. For example, one morning you might really want to just stay home and not go to work. The idea of staying at home makes you feel good but in the long-term. Although it's probably not a good idea and you'll feel guilty for not going in, which doesn't make you feel good. So the key here is to change your thoughts about the situation. Taking this example, accept that going to work is what you're going to have to do that day. But talk yourself into a good feeling place about it. Think of the positive things about going to work. Whether it's seeing people you get on well with, or treating yourself to a cup of coffee that day. The little things make the biggest difference.
2. You don't have to struggle for it. Speaking from experience, whenever I try and rush a decision, the outcome is never great. Give yourself time to think things through or 'sleep on it' as they say. Most of us aren't in situations where we need to make split second decisions very often. Make the most of that and trust that the decision will be made for you when the timing is right.
3. Trust your gut. When something feels inherently uncomfortable in our lives, it means it's not right for us. I will often try and convince myself that I should do something or a particular situation is right for me. When in reality there's something else much better on its way for me. Going back to the job analogy, last year I was convinced I wanted a particular job, went for a trial day (luckily I had that chance) and actually really disliked it. I could have taken the job as I didn't have any other options (I thoughts I wanted) at that time but I trusted my gut and turned it down. I contemplated not going for an interview in the job I'm in now but had this feeling I should just give it a go. Turns out I really liked the sound of the job, got offered it and it's the perfect place for me to be at this point in my life.
"I have friends who know me better than I know myself sometimes so I really respect their opinions."
4. You don't regret the decision for more than five minutes. It is possible to change your mind about something once you've made a choice. Thank goodness. I do this all the time when ordering food at a restaurant! If you make a decision in the heat of a moment and you not only feel bad about it straight after but a few days later, you might want to rethink your choice. Obviously if it's something like a bad break up, you might feel bad for a lot longer than that but the pros of your decisions should always outweigh the cons.
5. The people closest to you agree with your choice. They say we're a reflection of the five (I think) people we're closest to. Do your family and friends agree or disagree with you on the whole? Every culture or family dynamic is different but if my parents really, really disagreed with a choice I was making, it would definitely make me think twice about it. While sometimes only you know what's best for you, I have friends who know me better than I know myself sometimes so really respect their opinions. Next time you're unsure of something, ask someone close to you what their advice for you would be.
And if you follow these five tips above and all else fails, remember there is no wrong decision here. Mistakes are always made and it might feel like you're going off track but we're part of a bigger picture. It's time to stop trying to micro-manage our lives and enjoy it!
I hope you've found these tips useful. Are you good at making decisions? I'd love to hear what tips you have on how to make the right decision for you. If you like this more chatty style of writing, check out this post of mine.